The End Before It Begins
by TVObssessedGirl28
Summary: If you read my post on Tumblr then you know what this is about. SPOILERS. My theory about who might die.
1. Chapter 1 Death

It all happened so fast. The first minute they saw him walking towards the hospital entrance, the next minute his friends and colleagues were rushing over as they saw his body fly off a bonnet of an oncoming vehicle. There were orders being shouted from every direction as colleagues tried to attend to his injuries. People were coming and going as equipment was being brought out from inside the department. Someone was starting chest compressions while others were putting a line into his arm. Cal was inside when he saw his friends rush past him. Intrigued he followed them outside. That's when he saw what had happened. That was the moment when he saw the body of his little brother lying so still on the road. He tried to run over to where his brother lay as his friends tried to resuscitate him, but he was held back by Charlie. Cal tried to pull away from his grip, only wanting to be with his brother, but Charlie held him firm and moved him out of the way as Elle, Lily, David and Jacob ran in and straight into Resus. Cal along with Charlie quickly followed behind. Cal was about to enter Resus but, was stopped by Elle.

"Please, Cal. Let us do our job. Ethan's in the best possible hands." Elle told him.

"Just tell me he's going to be okay." Cal demanded.

"We'll do our best."

"That's not good enough!" Cal shouted.

'Cal..." Charlie tried to calm him dowm.

"That's my brother!" Cal yelled as he turned to face his friend. "Trying their best is not good enough."

"I know. But, like Elle said he's in the best possible hands. Let them do their jobs." Charlie replied.

Taking one last glance at his brother Cal left the room and headed towards the staffroom. Slumping down onto the sofa he covered his face with his hands breathing heavily as he tried to calm himself down. Only a few minutes passed when he heard somone approach him. Immediately he looked up and saw Charlie. Standing next to him was Elle. Cal swallowed away the lump in his throat when he saw the two of them standing there. Elle took a step forward away from Charlie and approached Cal.

"Cal," Elle began. "I'm so sorry, but I'm afraid Ethan didn't make it."

Cal shook his head.

"No, he can't be. This must be some sick joke. He can't be..."

Cal couldn't say the word. He felt like he was going to be sick. He felt his knees collapse beneath him and he ended up kneeling on the floor his breathing getting heavier. Elle knelt down to his level.

"I'm afraid there was nothing we could do."

"But, you promised. You said you'd do your best to save him." Cal whispered.

"I know." Elle admitted quietly. "It would seem the injuries he suffered on impact were so severe that he died instantly."

For a minute it looked like Elle was finished talking to him, but Cal could sense there was something else she was not telling him.

"What is it?" Cal asked.

"There is something else." Elle started.

"What do you mean?"

"About the way Ethan died."

"What do you mean 'about the way Ethan died'?" Cal said. "We know how he died."

"It's not that. What I mean is why Ethan did what he did."

At this point Cal was confused. He had no idea what Elle was talking about.

"What are you trying to say?" Cal wondered.


	2. Chapter 2 Revelations

Elle looked at Charlie unsure as to whether or not she should tell Cal the truth about the way Ethan had died. Charlie saw her hesitation and gave her a nod indicating for her to tell Cal the truth. Elle turned back to face Cal.

"The thing is," Elle started to say. "I know this may be a shock for you to hear, but Ethan stepped out into the car that hit him."

Cal looked at Elle as she had spoken language. He shook his head hoping he had misheard what Elle had just said to him. Both Elle and Charlie could see him trying to process the news. There was an uncomfortable ease between the three of them. Finally Cal spoke.

"What are you trying to say?" He inquired. "Are you saying he deliberately got hit by the car?"

Elle looked at him with a sad smile before nodding slowly. Cal's expression went from confusion to anger. He looked to Elle and then to Charlie hoping Charlie would argue against what Elle had just said. Unfortunately by the expression on Charlie's face confirmed Cal's fear. Elle was telling the truth. Cal stood up abruptly.

"No, I don't believe you. Ethan would never do such a thing." Cal told them. "I know my own brother."

"Cal, I know it's hard..." Charlie spoke.

"Hard? My brother is dead and you have the nerve to tell me that he did it on purpose!" Cal raised his voice.

"Cal, please. Why would we lie to you?" Charlie replied.

"Why would you say Ethan tried to kill himself?" Cal hit back.

"Because it's the truth."

"No, it's not."

"We saw what we saw." Elle spoke this time.

"You saw what you thought you saw." Cal told her, his voice still raised. "Like I said I know my brother. And Ethan would never do that. He would never kill himself."

Charlie walked up to him.

"There was a huge crowd of us out there when the incident happened. We saw what happened. Ask Lily or Jacob or David. They'll tell you the truth."

Cal scoffed. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Did his friends, Ethan's friends honestly think Ethan would do such a thing? Needing some fresh air, Cal brushed past Elle and Charlie. Ethan had just died and his friends were trying to make up some story. His friends were trying to make it sound like Ethan committed suicide. Cal shook his head. No, he knew Ethan and Ethan would never do that. He would never commit suicide. Cal soon found him outside the department in the Peace Garden on a bench trying to let the news sink in. He saw Lily approach him.

"Not now, Lily." Cal said. "I'm not really in the mood."

Lily, however, didn't make a move to leave him alone. Instead she took a seat next to him.

"I'm sorry, Cal."

"Yeah, I don't really want your sympathy."

"What's the matter?" Lily asked.

Cal inhaled deeply and then gave a small chuckle.

"You know Charlie and Elle think Ethan stepped out into the road deliberately."

"I know this is going to be hard for you to hear, but they're right. He did step out into the road just as the car was coming round the corner."

Cal turned to face her.

"Not you as well."

"I saw what I saw." Lily said.

Cal shook his head.

"No. Like I told Charlie and Elle, you saw what you thought you saw. You know as well as I do that Ethan would never and I mean NEVER do that."

Lily could see that Cal was in denial. That was understandable, he had just lost his brother. But, Cal needed to know the truth. That would be the only way Cal could grieve for his loss.

"Cal, over the past couple of weeks Ethan has been acting strange. His behaviour's been odd. Surely you must have noticed. Like getting drunk on Charlie's stag do?"

"So?"

"So that's not Ethan. You know Ethan never gets drunk."

"It was a stag do. Charlie's stag do. That's what people do on stag do's. They get drunk."

"Yes, but Ethan? Even at the New Year's party, at the Christmas party Ethan didn't get drunk. I think there was something else that caused his change in behaviour." Lily admitted.

"What are you talking about?"

There was a moments pause. Lily looked away from Cal towards the hospital entrance.

"Cal..." Lily started.


	3. Chapter 3 Healing

"Ethan told me he had Huntington's."

"What's that got do with anything?"

"I know you won't admit it, but changes in behaviour? That's one of early symptoms for Huntington's."

"Yeah, I know. But, Ethan wasn't showing any symptoms."

"How would you know?"

"He would have told me."

Lily looks at him.

"Not necessarily."

"He was my brother! He wouldn't have kept me in the dark."

"He might have if he didn't want to worry you."

"That's rubbish." Cal scoffed.

"How is that rubbish?" Lily asked him. "He cared about you. That's probably why he didn't want to tell you. He didn't want you to feel like you had to look after him."

Cal rubbed his hand over his face. Lily was right. Knowing Ethan he would be more worried about Cal than himself. But, surely Cal would have noticed any symptoms starting? He was supposed to be a doctor. What doctor was he if he couldn't recognise early symptoms of the disease that killed his mother and was going to slowly kill his brother?

"I should have been more observant." Cal said. "I should have looked out for him."

"This isn't your fault." Lily told him.

"Isn't it? I'm supposed to be a doctor. What kind of doctor doesn't recognise symptoms of Huntington's?"

"Yes, you are a doctor, but you're also a brother. You were a brother who cared about his sibling."

"That doesn't make any difference. I still should have seen the signs."

"Even if you had seen the signs, what could you have done?"

"I could have stopped Ethan from killing himself."

"How? He didn't tell you he was going to kill himself. So how could you have stopped him?"

"At least he'd still be alive. At least I would have my brother still with me."

"Cal, trust me. I know what it's like to lose someone you love. Like when my father died I tried to be strong. I tried to act as if I was okay, when the truth of it was, I wasn't."

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry about your dad but this isn't the same. Your dad didn't kill himself. My brother did."

"I'm not saying it's the same. What I am trying to say is when my father died I blamed myself. I blamed myself because I thought he was never proud of me. I was wrong. He was proud of me and always was. I know how it feels like to blame yourself for someone's death, but you mustn't. This wasn't your fault, it was no one's fault."

"Still doesn't make it easy."

Lily shook her head.

"No, it doesn't. But, you have our support. You don't have to go through this alone."

Cal smiled her. Lily was right. He didn't need to go through his grief alone, he had his friends. They too were also hurting. Not only had he lost a brother but they had lost a friend.


End file.
